ircart

diff --git a/ircart/.list b/ircart/.list
@@ -4861,6 +4861,7 @@ rip/ripsynth
 rip/riptalons
 rip/ripthread
 rip/ripujb
+roarie
 rucas
 rules
 sailor
@@ -5228,7 +5229,6 @@ sort/gay4
 sort/gayprideswaztika
 sort/gaypride
 sort/gayrainbow
-sort/gay.stories
 sort/gay
 sort/gaza
 sort/geert
@@ -5270,7 +5270,6 @@ sort/gorfpagga
 sort/gorfvxp2
 sort/gorfvxp
 sort/gorilla
-sort/gpl.stories
 sort/gr1d
 sort/grammar
 sort/greenblue
@@ -5317,7 +5316,6 @@ sort/highinc
 sort/hitler2
 sort/hitler3
 sort/hitlerbeeere
-sort/hitler.stories
 sort/hitler
 sort/hi
 sort/hizbullah2
@@ -5359,7 +5357,6 @@ sort/jax2
 sort/jaxpoem
 sort/JDA_NAZI.ANS
 sort/jesus3
-sort/jesus.stories
 sort/jesus
 sort/jew2
 sort/jew3
@@ -5373,7 +5370,6 @@ sort/jews4
 sort/jews5
 sort/jews6
 sort/jewslose
-sort/jews.stories
 sort/jews
 sort/jews.xxsart
 sort/jihad
@@ -5424,7 +5420,6 @@ sort/l0de
 sort/lambda
 sort/lame
 sort/lantern
-sort/latvia.stories
 sort/latvia
 sort/la
 sort/lemons1
@@ -5487,7 +5482,6 @@ sort/lunix_startup
 sort/lunix
 sort/madcube
 sort/mae-ansi.ans
-sort/mare.stories
 sort/mario14
 sort/mario17
 sort/mario18
@@ -5495,7 +5489,6 @@ sort/mario19
 sort/mario20
 sort/mario2
 sort/mario3
-sort/mario.stories
 sort/mario
 sort/masskill
 sort/maus
@@ -5540,7 +5533,6 @@ sort/nasa
 sort/nc
 sort/necco
 sort/negrowater
-sort/nena.stories
 sort/neurotypical
 sort/nfo
 sort/nickberg
@@ -5560,7 +5552,6 @@ sort/nina1
 sort/nina2
 sort/nnice
 sort/noasciis
-sort/nord1.stories
 sort/nord2
 sort/nord3
 sort/nord4
@@ -5667,7 +5658,6 @@ sort/r1ch
 sort/rabbit1
 sort/rabbit2
 sort/racistirc
-sort/racist.stories
 sort/racist
 sort/radeon.ascii
 sort/radeon
@@ -5678,8 +5668,6 @@ sort/ragespider
 sort/rainbow3
 sort/rainbow4
 sort/rain
-sort/rape1.stories
-sort/rape2.stories
 sort/rape3
 sort/rape4
 sort/rape5
@@ -5748,7 +5736,6 @@ sort/skilenton
 sort/skull3
 sort/skulls3
 sort/slash1
-sort/slash2.stories
 sort/slash2
 sort/slash
 sort/slimer
@@ -5770,7 +5757,6 @@ sort/sonic
 sort/sotrolled
 sort/spacebaby
 sort/space
-sort/spam.stories
 sort/spam
 sort/spics
 sort/spiderpig
@@ -5799,7 +5785,6 @@ sort/sprite7
 sort/sprite8
 sort/ssri
 sort/ss
-sort/stallion.stories
 sort/stallion
 sort/staminus
 sort/starboard
@@ -5944,7 +5929,6 @@ sort/wispurs
 sort/woman2
 sort/wpww1488
 sort/wraith
-sort/wtc2.stories
 sort/wtc5
 sort/wtc6
 sort/wutang

diff --git a/ircart/sort/gay.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/gay.stories.txt
@@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
-While walking through the Palm Springs, CA woods, a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?"
-"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.
-"You gotta be kiddin' me."
-"No, would you like to give it a try?"
-Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it.
-With this, the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.
-Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked, "What the heck happened to you?"
-He told the guy the whole terrible story about how he got there.
-When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him gently behind the ear and said, "This just ain't gonna be your day, cupcake..."

diff --git a/ircart/sort/gpl.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/gpl.stories.txt
@@ -1,286 +0,0 @@
-		    GNU GENERAL PUBLIC LICENSE
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diff --git a/ircart/sort/hitler.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/hitler.stories.txt
@@ -1,149 +0,0 @@
-Stephen Colbert was a busy man. He had lots to do and little time to do it in.so why couldn.t he get the plastic off this goddamn Ramen cup?!
-
-.Time is money,. he mumbled at the cup, not so much because he meant it or even abided by the phrase, but it was the principle of the thing really. He could be doing all manner of things with this time...like, writing his first novel or fiddling around with his site, but more likely than not, simply watching TV. He grabbed a fork and jabbed it into the plastic, violently ripping it off and filling the little cup with water, then shoving the lot into the microwave.
-
-He leaned against the counter, away from the offending Ramen cup and tapped his foot as the microwave cooked his quick lunch. He frowned as the old microwave started making strange noises. Damn thing was so old. He really needed to replace it soon.
-
-The microwave.s humming got louder and more erratic. The counter started vibrating and Stephen whipped around to investigate. What the hell was wrong with the damn thin.oh shit.
-
-The fork he had used to open the Ramen was in the microwave.
-
-As he reached to open it, the microwave gave a jolt and, to his horror, exploded. He shielded his face but nothing hit him. Something strange was happening. The pieces weren.t exploding.they were imploding. The shrapnel was being sucked into a gaping portal of indeterminate color and texture. He backed away from it, sure that even if he got out of this encounter alive he would die soon after of radiation poisoning or cancer or something equally as terrible.
-
-He tried to run, but he found himself being pulled steadily into the portal. His feet scraped against the ground and he grasped for anything that could anchor him, but he couldn.t resist the pull. As his feet were dragged into the portal, all he could think was, .I always thought radiation would be.greener..
-
-***
-
-Adolf stormed out of the Academy of Arts cursing furiously. When he had first received his rejection letter, he thought that surely a mistake had been made. How could the dean not recognize such raw passion? He had come down to the school to present his portfolio once again and assure them that he was worthy of attending their prestigious school, but they had rolled their eyes at him and told him that they had declined his application due to a lack of talent. Become an architect, they said. Lack of talent; this was clearly the pinnacle of all the stupid things he.d heard in his life.
-
-He was nineteen and already his childless father pension was running out. He needed to be in school to better his art and hone his artistic vision. He cursed the Jews on the school board under his breath. He glared back at the gates, shaking his head angrily. Of all the stupid things!
-
-Without warning, he was hit by something rather large and heavy. After a few seconds of confusion and hustle, he realized that it was a handsome older man in a strangely tailored suit.
-
-.Machen welche die Hö Sie?!. Adolf shouted, jumping to his feet and dusting himself off indignantly.
-
-The man quirked an eyebrow up at him and said slowly but not in a condescending manner, .Speak English?.
-
-.I am.sorry.. Adolf conceded in his best English, offering the man a hand up. He searched for words for a minute before saying, .How are you called?.
-
-The man smiled, looking relieved. .I.m Stephen Colbert,. he announced, extending his hand to grip Adolf.s in a formal handshake.
-
-Adolf took it, more than a bit puzzled. .Is French?. Colbert nodded, grinning vaguely. ..Vere did you come from?.
-
-Colbert shrugged. .Where am I?.
-
-A smile touched Adolf.s lips. What a cryptic answer. He was intrigued, but who was this man? .Vienna. I am Adolf Schicklgruber. You need a place to stay? Is not much, but..
-
-Stephen looked pensive for a moment. Schicklgruber; why did that sound familiar? Either way, he really didn.t have any place to stay, but how did he end up in Vienna? And for that matter, how was he going to get back home? Oh well, he.d think about all that later as, for the moment, he had no money on him and no other options.
-
-***
-
-Adolf.s apartment was small and sparsely furnished, but cluttered with paintings and drying postcards, art supplies and books, various random knickknacks, and an ancient phonograph. Adolf sank down onto the stiff bed and gave Stephen leave to take the sturdy chair across from it. He picked up a newspaper off of it and sat down. It was typed up in German but the date read 1908.
-
-He laughed, giving the paper a tap with the back of his hand. .How old is this thing?.
-
-Adolf looked puzzled as he took the paper from Stephen, giving it a quick glance. .S.at.s yesterday.s paper..
-
-Stephen frowned. Adolf studied his form intently and tentatively asked, .May I.may I paint you? I am an artist, you see,. he hastily added. Painting from landscapes and postcard pictures could only get one so far. He didn.t have the money to pay a model but maybe he could rend something beautiful from his guest.
-
-Stephen laugh, a bit taken aback. No one had ever asked to paint him before but he couldn.t see why not. At least he could have some time to think about his situation while Adolf painted. The young German switched places with him so he could have adequate lighting and then threw open the drapes with a dramatic flourish.
-
-He set to sketching Stephen.s relaxed body, smiling contentedly and making quiet conversation. When he was finished with the last bit of shading on his preliminary sketch, he plopped down next to Stephen to show him. Stephen laughed. .Oh you.re good. My face isn.t that lined already is it?. He asked playfully.
-
-Adolf frowned, slightly crestfallen. .No, Mr. Colbert, you look goodt. Youthful.. He wasn.t blowing smoke either. He was actually kind of scared at how attracted he was to the man, but he couldn.t back down from his statement now or he.d make things awkward.
-
-Stephen shook his head, grinning. .Call me Stephen. Or if you become a really good friend of mine, Ted Hitler..
-
-Adolf knew that there was a joke he wasn.t getting but felt stupid having it explained to him, so he simply said, .The name of my father is Heidler, but Hitler sounds better..
-
-Stephen.s brow furrowed at that and Adolf was afraid he had said something wrong. He quickly searched his brain for another subject he could adequately express in English. He bit his lip and Stephen let out a boyish giggle, reaching hesitantly to push a strand of hair back from the German boy.s face.
-
-Adolf took Stephen.s wrist lightly in midair, inhaling sharply as he felt the older man.s smooth skin. He leaned into Stephen.s gaze uncertainly, his lips brushing Stephen.s. Adolf ran a hand through the man.s dark hair and deepened the kiss, pressing his taut young body up against Stephen.s.
-
-Stephen gasped into his mouth and broke free, wrenching his body back away from Adolf. .I.I can.t do this,. he sputtered breathily. .I.m in love with someone else..
-
-Adolf cast his eyes down, his cheeks burning, and pretended to be interested in the worn sheets he was picking at. .Vith whom?.
-
-Stephen sighed. He wouldn.t even be born for another half a century. .Jon Stuart Leibowitz..
-
-Adolf.s eyes stung with tears of embarrassment. He batted them away angrily with the back of his hand. .Gottverdammen Juden,. he murmured in an attempt to console himself.
-
---------------------------------------------------------------------
-
-
-
-The Fuhrer kept his back turned to the door as he whispered into the telephone. He listened intently for a moment, his eyes gleaming in the nearby candlelight, and then replied with a soft murmur of his own. After several moments of secretive banter with intermittent giggles, Adolf hung up the phone and quickly straightened his jacket. The two guards outside his door suddenly snapped back to attention. He peered at them for a moment from within his dark cave-like office, then strode towards the doorway. The two guards flung their right arms skyward and shouted .Hail Hitler!. as he passed.
-
-As soon as he was out of sight, one guard leaned towards the other. .Has he got himself a girlfriend finally.?.
-
------
-
-Adolf had never been much of a relationship man, but he realized now that with his plan of dominating the world, he wanted.no, needed.someone at his side to share all the power, riches, and glory. Someone he could sit down to a nice dinner salad and idly chat with. He had a particular individual in mind, someone who had recently become very dear to him. The problem was that the world could never ever know, for it could destroy them both. No, no, the world must remain ignorant to his personal life.
-
-He sat quietly in the back seat of his touring car and chewed on his thumbnail for a bit as he contemplated the possibilities.
-
-.Driver,. he finally called out. .We need to stop at a florist before we go to the opera.. His Jewish Negro slave complied with a nod of his head and pulled up to the nearest corner flower shop.
-
-.No, wait.. How could he be so foolish? He couldn.t send flowers; the florist would know then. That would be unacceptable. He ordered the driver to continue on and began to mutter to himself: .When.when?.
-
------
-
-As the month and .his. war ventured on, Hitler could always find himself one step ahead of his enemies. strategies. However, he was growing a deep undeniable fear in the pit of his gut that his neighbor, Joseph Stalin, might form an alliance with the western democracies in spite of their friendship . He knew that would be taken care of soon enough though, when they would meet to sign he Nazi-Soviet Non-Aggression Pact. He had also invited his Italian ally, Benito Mussolini to join them as a spectator and to enjoy the festivities.
-
-The meeting couldn.t come quickly enough; within several weeks two fascist leaders and a communist leader were merrily sharing drinks around a boardroom table, surrounded by all of their loyal subjects. The non-aggression pact had been signed, and they all sat around shoving pork rolls and veggie wraps into their indulgent little mouths to celebrate. The two signers of the pact.Adolph and Joseph.reveled in their own supposed streaks of genius, and were quite proud of themselves.
-
-.You are like me,. Joseph mused to Adolph. .We are insatiable.. 
-
-The merrymaking continued long into the night. Gradually, attendees from the party began to disappear out into the cold night or in search of an empty guestroom in which to collapse or entertain their dates.
-
-Slightly intoxicated and senseless from drinking, Adolf drifted down the hallway in search of his secret lover.
-
-.Where are you? I haven.t been with you in so long.. he cooed out softly. He looked behind a portrait bust of a Greek god and frowned, disappointed that his lover could not be found there. Next, he looked behind a large velvet drapery that was hanging on a wall. Still no sign, to his dismay. He stumbled past his office; a sound distracted him.
-
-He paused. There was a male voice coming from within. He pushed the heavy door open a crack and strained to listen.
-
-.Ahhh, mio amore e tesoro. the familiar voice murmured. A rustling sound was heard then. Adolf blinked in the darkness, and squinted. His eyes adjusted gradually and he could finally make out two figures groping and caressing in the dark.
-
-His eyes widened in disbelief. Someone was behaving inappropriately in his office! How dare they! He angrily pushed the door open and flipped on a nearby light. The two spooning figures froze. Adolf immediately halted in his tracks.
-
-There, tightly grasping each other in the corner, Benito Mussolini and Joseph Stalin gaped at him, held in a deer-caught-in-the-headlights type horror. Within seconds, Adolf reacted. His face became the color of a fresh turnip, his shaking fists rose to his hair, and his breath stopped entirely.
-
-.How dare you!. he howled in fury. .What would the citizens of your countries think?!
-
-Benito stared at the floor as he tentatively pulled his shirt back up over his shoulders.
-
-.I want you out of here! Now!. Adolf barked. He stomped foot ferociously and pointed towards the door. The two wildly embarrassed men quickly buttoned their shirts, fixed their hair, and hastily made their way to the door.
-
-.Wait,. Adolf instructed. .Joseph, you will remain here.. He waved Benito away. .Get out of here, you.you shamed fool! Yes, that.s right, I know how the Australians ran you out of Egypt, you coward! Now get out of my sight!. 
-
-Mussolini ran crying from the room.
-
-The two were alone now, and Adolph could no longer contain himself. He slapped Joseph. The palm-to-cheek blow resounded loudly.
-
-.How could you do this to me?. he screeched.
-
-Joseph cringed at the blow and an apologetic grimace crossed his face. Adolf continued. .In my own home, behind my back! After all we.ve been through! After I told you how much I needed you.. he reached out and trailed a loving finger down Joseph.s cheek. .I was looking everywhere for you tonight. I thought we could have our special alone time..
-
-Joseph fell to his knees at the Fuhrer.s feet. .A thousand apologies!. he groveled. .Please forgive me, I swear it was the wine. He meant nothing to me! Please!. He clutched desperately at Adolf.s hand. .How could I possibly make it up to you? I.ll do anything..anything.. He sobbed pathetically on the floor.
-
-Adolf remained thoughtful for a moment. How could he work this to his advantage? This could turn out quite well. Quite well indeed. He pulled his unfaithful lover to his feet. .Pledge your allegiance to me,. he demanded. .This is how you may redeem yourself. Pledge your allegiance to me. You will then also have your army conduct themselves according to my instruction..
-
-Stalin looked gravely at Hitler for a moment. .You murder communists. You murder those that represent what I believe in.. 
-
-Hitler crossed his arms and sighed. .Do you want me to forgive you or not?.
-
-Stalin then finally bit his bottom lip and nodded his head. .I will do it for you. I would do it for only you..
-
-Hitler nodded as well. .Excellent. Then I forgive you.. He smiled.
-
------
-
-And that was how it was. The massive Russian army was then under the command of both Hitler and Stalin, although Stalin eventually seemed to fade away into the background, appearing to give Hitler sole totalitarianism control as far as the public eye was concerned.  Their downfall would have undoubtedly been inevitable had the knowledge of their true relationship been revealed. The two leaders overlooked their political differences in favor for a glorified conquest that they wished to share happily together. 
-
-On one occasion, Stalin and Hitler secretly met in a territory annexed from defeated Poland. A train silently pulled into a station into Lvov, while the area was strictly guarded. All traffic was halted. Naturally, this attracted attention, and to the general public it was stated that they had signed a military treaty to replace the non-aggression pact. 
-
-In reality, this meeting was not of military nature. The truth of the matter was that Stalin and Hitler were being wed, and once again they were in need of a reasonable and acceptable excuse with tight security in order to have such an event take place. With their union sealed, their conquest of the world could resume.
-
-The Soviet army was trained, armed, and uniformed by the expert and professional Germans. Eventually the time came to help Japan invade the United States. In spite of the untiring and fearless bite of the U.S. military, the combination Russo-German army with the aid of Japanese air power soon overwhelmed the country. As soon as the Russo-Germans were finished using Japan, they invaded and took them over as well.
-
-This great planetary empire, with all unfavorable races and social classes eliminated, is now presided over by the great Joseph Hitler, son of the two men that founded our flawless way of life. Every country has been united in a utopian way of life, and now with the help of both space agencies of the United States of the Russo-German Empire and the Russians, we can now look skyward and intrigue ourselves with the idea and the possibilities of conquering other worlds.

diff --git a/ircart/sort/jesus.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/jesus.stories.txt
@@ -1,37 +0,0 @@
-Hi to my brothers and sisters in Jesus. I'm posting anonymously, because my
-problem is very personal, and one I would have trouble asking even my pastor
-about. I was recently engaged to a young man who is perfect in almost every
-way, a devout christian who is kindhearted, attractive, and owns his own
-restaraunt. I should be the happiest girl in the state, but there's a problem.
-One day about two months ago, my toilet would not flush. I tried and tried, but
-finally could not flush it, and went off to look for a plunger, but when I came
-back with it, the clog was totally gone. I left the plunger in the bathroom in
-case it happened again. A few days later it did, but someone had moved the
-plunger. I went looking all over the appartment for it but when I came back,
-the toilet was unclogged again.  I was baffled, I left the plunger in the
-bathroom again, making a careful note of where it was (we only have one
-bathroom in our appartment). When it happened again, I went out as before to
-look for the plunger but swiftly returned to the bathroom. I was aghast at what
-I found. My fiance was reaching into the toilet with his bare hands, pulling
-out my... refuse and consuming it.  He was so surprised when I came in that he
-almost choked on it. I ran to the kitchen sink and started throwing up over and
-over again, praying this was a dream.  But it wasn't. He came into the kitchen
-afterward to make sure I was ok, and then he told me that he had tried to hide
-it from me, but now that I knew, there was no use in pretending anymore, he
-enjoyed eating my feces, and had no plans to stop anytime soon. He said he
-hoped I could understand, and was very matter of fact about the whole thing.
-We got into a big argument and I left the appartment crying and have been
-staying at my mother's appartment for four days. The problem is that even with
-this insane behavior, I still love him very much, and I can't bear the thought
-of living my life without him. Tonight he called to try and work things out.
-When I told him that I would have to break things off if he didn't stop this,
-he told me that he loved me, but if I couldn't accept this part of him, he
-would have to find someone who could.  I'm totally at a loss for what to do. I
-don't dare tell any of my family or friends about this, my mother has been
-urging me to work things out but I just can't get over the memory of him bent
-over the toilet and reaching in. I have been crying almost non-stop since it
-happened and have not gone into work.  Please Jesus, help me find a way to work
-through this. I need help but I just can't face up to this thing, it's so
-strange. I am praying someone can help me, or offer some words of wisdom on
-dealing with things like this. I understand this is gross but I am hoping for
-constructive advice, not denouncements of the man I still love :'(

diff --git a/ircart/sort/jews.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/jews.stories.txt
@@ -1,10 +0,0 @@
-Fuck Jesus
-And God Is A Piece Of Shit
-What the fuck is up with all these goddamned Christards talking about Hitler burning in Hell?
-What did Hitler do that was so fucking bad?
-He only killed a measly few million Jews.
-Now JESUS, on the other hand, sends ALL FUCKING JEWS to eternal torment in the fiery pits of Hell.
-God?
-So while Hitler killed a Jew or two, there is, according to Christian faith in the One True Loving God, not one single Jew ever born since Jesus' time that will not spend fucking ETERNITY in pain, and torment.
-Anne Frank?
-Yeah, that Jew whore is in Hell where Jesus says her sorry ass belongs.

diff --git a/ircart/sort/latvia.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/latvia.stories.txt
@@ -1,7 +0,0 @@
-LATVIAN HOUSE, QUIET AS SHIT, AREEMS WAS ASLEEP, STROKING HIS TIT, SUDDENLY WOKEN BY THE THOUGHTS OF FOOD, HE WANDERED DOWNSTAIRS TOTALLY NUDE, WITH A 1 INCH ERRECTION, HE OPENED THE FRIDGE, A MAN SAT BESIDE HIM, LADEN WITH GRIDS, THE MAN WAS A NIGGER, HE LOOKED LIKE A MESS, WHY WAS THIS MAN WEARING A DRESS? THIS MAN WAS A DARKIE FROM THE GNAA. UNKNOWN TO AREEMS, HE WAS TOTALLY GAY.
-HIS 20 FOOT DONG STARTED TO RISE -- HE COULD SEE THE FEAR IN AREEMS' EYES. DON'T BE SHY, HE SAID, WITH A CAMP INFLECTION, ITS OKAY TO GET HIV FROM AN AIDS INFECTION. ANNOUNCING HIS PRESENCE, HE PLUNGED INTO AREEMS, HIS O-RING WAS TEARING AROUND THE SEAMS. AREEMS FELT HIS PRESENCE INSIDE HIS ASS, REMAINS OF DOUGHNUTS STILL YET TO BE PASSED.
-THE BLACK MAN MOVED FURTHER INTO AREEMS, VISIONS OF CAKES STILL IN HIS DREAMS. THE NIGGER CAME AND THE BUG WAS PASSED, AREEMS GAVE A FUCK AS THE HOUSE WAS GASSED. THE SS WAS HERE, READY TO KILL, HITLER'S MEN GAVE OUT A SHRILL. "SCHNELL", THEY REPEATED, AS AREEMS WAS CAPTURED, PACKED INTO A TRAIN HEADED FOR RAPTURE.
-WHEN HE ARRIVED, GREETED BY JEWS, THIS PLACE HAD FOOD -- HOW COULD HE LOSE? PACKED INTO A CELL AND GIVEN HIS FEAST, JEWISH CORPSES BLOATED WITH YEAST. A TASTE OF ZYKLON-B AS HE TUCKED IN, THIS PLACE WAS SOME SORT OF JEWISH BIN. COULD IT BE AUSCHWITZ? HE ASKED THE ASSCLOWN. HE LAUGHED AND SAID THAT THIS WAS IN FACT #BANTOWN.
-AREEMS WAS CONFUSED -- WHY WAS HE HERE? FEASTING ON CORPSES FOR OVER A YEAR. YOUR POSTERIOR, HE SAID, IS USEFUL TO US. YOUR ANUS AFFORDS US A GREAT SOURCE OF PUS. THE FATTER YOU GET, THE MORE YOU PRODUCE, WE WANT YOUR ASS TO BE TOTALLY LOOSE. OUR MEMBERS ARE KILLED AND THEN GIVEN TO YOU, WE EXTRACT YOUR PUS TO USE IN OUR COUP.
-AREEMS COULDN'T CARE LESS, AS LONG HE FED, IT SADDENED HIM TO HEAR THAT HIS FRIENDS WERE DEAD. AREEMS GREW TO THE ROOM AND THEN READIED HIS REAR, THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WAS ONE OF FEAR. THE DEVICE WAS TURNED ON, AND A WHIRRING BEGAN. THE PUS WAS EXTRACTED INTO A PAN. THIS WAS THEN EMPTIED INTO A BOTNET DEVICE -- A LINUX SERVER THAT ALREADY CRASHED TWICE.
-THE MACHINE CAME ONLINE, AND ENTERED #GNAA, CAUSING A SMALL AMOUNT OF DISMAY. THE OPS SET A PASSWORD, AND THE CHANNEL WAS STILL. IT SEEMS THEIR DEVICE DID NOTHING TO KILL. FAILURE OCCURED, AND BANTOWN WAS SHIT, THEY WROTE ON THEIR BLOGS THAT THEIR WRISTS HAD BEEN SLIT. WHAT A PATHETIC EXISTENCE, AREEMS SAID AS HE CRIED, HE WAS TRAPPED IN HIS CAGE UNTIL HE DIED.

diff --git a/ircart/sort/mare.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/mare.stories.txt
@@ -1,107 +0,0 @@
-She stood there on the other side of the fence. For a full
-sized mare, she was a little on the small side. But i was
-horny and she looked good all the same to me. So i reached
-over the fence to scratch her ears. As i touched her, she
-whinnied and tossed her head. She neighed and moved closer so
-i could better reach her head. I ran my hand over her ears,
-under her chin, over and though her mane and over her ears
-again. I was getting excited from the smell of her and the
-physical contact with her. I moved around so i was near her
-ass end. She didn't seem to mind my looking at her ass and i
-guess she was looking at mine too. Her tail swished and i got
-a good view of her scenery. She raised her tail then so i
-could better see her asshole and cunt. She looked great,
-better each time i saw it. We were old lovers so i felt safe
-fucking her, she trusted me and i her. I climbed over the
-fence not so quietly, so she knew what i wanted to do and she
-knew where i was. As i stood behind her, she remained calm
-and relaxed so i lifted her tail to the side and i put my
-hand ever so lightly on that soft skin of her cunt.  It was
-like before, the softest skin i had ever felt, no human ever
-had skin so soft. I bent over to but my face against her
-backsides and i kissed her shiny black cunt and then her
-black button of an asshole.
-I switched back to her inviting cunt and inserted my tongue
-as far as it would go and i eat cunt for all i was worth.
-Mares are always the best smelling and tasting cunts there
-are, humans sometimes smell fishy, but not horses and
-certainly not her, in heat or out she always smelled and
-tasted great. Sweet like pussy and never anything bad or
-foul with a mare. So when my hard- on got to it's full size
-and i smelled as much like her cunt as she did, i moved to
-her asshole and continued eating her out. You might
-think "YUCK", BUT they are not like humans. They are
-herbivores as you know and so they have NO scent, only meat-
-eaters have a scent that's bad. Disqusting as you know from
-your dogs breath, but you never get that from a horse, either
-sex they have no scent. I stood there on the box that was
-always in her stall my fly unzipped. I wear no under pants so
-i am always ready for an animal fuck. I eased my hard- on
-into her slippery cunt and started pumping slow and steady.
-She was a little looser then usual today and when she
-squatted to piss i stepped aside to let her go to it. As i
-watched her finish i put my mouth on her winking cunt and
-drank her juices. She was in heat, i could tell the way she
-squatted  and pissed and from the cloudy color of her piss.
-Well she was going to be loose for a few days if she was in
-heat so i switched to her asshole. I shifted on the box and
-plugged into her asshole, That was always tight and never
-disappointed me NEVER. I pumped slowly in and out and she
-tightened and loosened with each stroke i made. She looked
-back at me and winked, they always do when you are nice to
-them, if you do anything that gives them pleasure they feel
-good and they love you for it, just like a dog. They give
-unconditional love NOT like a human.
-I was getting close to shooting my load into her so i sped up
-a little to made it really hot for her and me.  She tightened
-up just as i shot my first squirt and i thought she would cut
-my cock off. Her back hunched so i knew she was feeling ever
-thing to the fullest, every drop that entered her hot hole.
-She stayed tight until i shot my last into her and only then
-did she relax. I pumped a little while longer to finish  up
-and then i pulled out and climbed of her back. I looked at
-her hole and saw just a drop escaping so i licked it off and
-licked up under her tail. There is a bare spot up under where
-it comes out of her body that they love to have licked.
-Stallions too.. So i kissed her cunt and asshole goodbye. I
-would return later that day and the next to fuck her up her
-nose. She was a real LADY. And only one of my wives. But i
-have many husbands  who fuck me. And i am husband to many
-horses and dogs, goats and sheep. And am wife too just as may
-too.. HORSELOVER , THAT'S ME. EXCEPT NO OTHER!!
-
-It was getting to be twilight and i thought "I did promise
-the mare that i would return for that nose job didn't i"?  So
-i went back down to her corral and there she was waiting for
-me as i knew she would be. I talked quietly and calmly to her
-telling her how good she looked and how i had a surprise for
-her tonight. She listened and swished her tail as i petted
-and felt her face and nuzzle. I slowly inserted a finger into
-her nostril and told her " easy girl, thats right i won't
-hurt you." As i did this i lightly head her head still and
-layed my head against her's to make her feel better about my
-finger. I slid my finger gently and slowly in and out of her
-nose as if i was fucking it. It was slimy and wet but warm
-from her hot breath and she got used to it real fast. I then
-inserted a second finger so there were two in there now,
-still calming and talking to her. You must make then trust
-you and feel you are not hurting them. After about 5 minutes
-i unzipped my pants and let my hard-on poke out into the
-night air. She sniffed it and tried to bite it. They think
-everything is food. So i said no and pushed her mouth away. I
-then guided her head lower so i could get her nose over my
-cock. She let me guide her and i slowly inserted my cock into
-her nose. Her hot breath tickled my cock and i took a deeper
-breath and pushed in farther. When i had it all the way in i
-started pumping slowly and reassured her with my voice that
-she was good, it was not going to her and how beautiful she
-looked. You must seduce and flatter them, you must make them
-trust you. She changed her breathing pattern as she adjusted
-to having one nostril plugged. Must have seemed like she had
-a cold or something, but i guess she understood what was
-happening. The hot breath from her mouth caressed my naked
-leggs, and i was tippsy from the sensations i was feeling in
-her nose. I started to cum and she started to pull away. I
-held her head and laid my head against her's again and shot
-everything I had into that hole.  She waited until I was
-through and I pilled out slowly so as not to hurt her.

diff --git a/ircart/sort/mario.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/mario.stories.txt
@@ -1,31 +0,0 @@
-Today, full of energy, Mario is still running, running
-Go save Princess Peach! Go!
-Today, full of energy, Mario runs
-Today, full of energy, jumping!
-Today, full of energy, searching for coins
-Today, keep going, Mario!
-Get a mushroom - it's Super Mario!
-Get a flower - it's Fire Mario!
-Goomba! Troopa! Buzzy Beetle! Beat them all!
-Mario is always full of energy and strong!
-[Spoken] The only one who can reverse the spell that has captured the Mushroom People is Princess Peach. But Princess Peach is hidden underground, in a far-off castle. Ah, the days of peace... if we could once more return to those days... to save Princess Peach and bring peace back to the Mushroom Kingdom, that is why Mario is on his journey today.
-Today, full of energy, Mario is still running, running
-Go and beat the Koopa tribe, go!
-Today, full of energy, Mario runs
-Today, full of energy, jumping!
-Today, full of energy, searching for coins
-Today, keep going, Mario!
-Get a star - become invincible!
-Quickly, go save Princess Peach!
-Lakitu! Blooper! Cheep Cheep! Beat them all!
-Mario is always full of energy and strong!
-Today, full of energy, Mario is still running, running
-He's made it to the castle and gets fireworks!
-Lightly sidestepping the Hammer Bros.
-Show the last of your power, Mario!
-It's been a long journey but it's nearly at an end
-You've done it, you've done it! You've defeated Bowser!
-Princess Peach says "Thank you"
-Mario's got a great big heart!
-Mario's adventure is over for now, but
-Mario's dream lives forever...

diff --git a/ircart/sort/nena.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/nena.stories.txt
@@ -1,44 +0,0 @@
-Hast Du etwas Zeit füh
-Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer Dich
-Von 99 Luftballons
-Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont
-Denkst Du vielleicht grad' an mich
-Dann singe ich ein Lied fuer Dich
-Von 99 Luftballons
-Und dass sowas von sowas kommt
-
-99 Luftballons
-Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont
-Hielt man fuer UFOs aus dem All
-Darum schickte ein General
-Eine Fliegerstaffel hinterher
-Alarm zu geben, wenn es so war
-Dabei war da am Horizont
-Nur 99 Luftballons
-
-99 Duesenjaeger
-Jeder war ein grosser Krieger
-Hielten sich fuer Captain Kirk
-Das gab ein grosses Feuerwerk
-Die Nachbarn haben nichts gerafft
-Und fuehlten sich gleich angemacht
-Dabei schoss man am Horizont
-Auf 99 Luftballons
-
-99 Kriegsminister
-Streichholz und Benzinkanister
-Hielten sich fuer schlaue Leute
-Witterten schon fette Beute
-Riefen: Krieg und wollten Macht
-Mann, wer haette das gedacht
-Dass es einmal soweit kommt
-Wegen 99 Luftballons
-
-99 Jahre Krieg
-Liessen keinen Platz fuer Sieger
-Kriegsminister gibt es nicht mehr
-Und auch keine Duesenflieger
-Heute zieh ich meine Runden
-Seh die Welt in Truemmern liegen
-Hab' nen Luftballon gefunden
-Denk' an Dich und lass' ihn fliegen

diff --git a/ircart/sort/nord1.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/nord1.stories.txt
@@ -1,203 +0,0 @@
-                   "THE NORD"
-
-      Envisioned from a dream bestowed upon
-          CrackBaby which he put to text
-
-
-Trannykikeleonites Psalm 1
-
-AND so it was before the Great Ildo walked as Ambassador on the Planet Earth,
-and before the Punjab hordes laid siege to the West - whose threads lay bared
-by countless Jewish sons in binds of usury - some five-hundred whirls after
-the venerable tranny-kike Jesus took claim as the son of God, that the
-ALMIGHTY LORD OF THE UNIVERSE, one entity - of reference by mortals only
-as by his complete title - and followed always and only by DIKKY HEARTIES,
-saw it just to place upon the throes of man, one great savior to stand alone
-except with those whom he hath converted, Timecop.
-
- 
-Trannykikeleonites Psalm 2
-
-AND though the birth of timecop fell much nearer still to the nineteen-hundred
-and sixtieth whirl about the Earthly sun, it was seen by The Almighty Lord of
-the Universe, Dikky Hearties, that timecop should entrench himself within the
-rolls of a great Montenegro peak and from there he beseeched the wonderous crowds
-"Bring ye forth thine carrion swine, thine dregs of men, and open-source
-enthusiasts still and I shall smite your woes from this land and serve to you
-a divine escalator to Val Halla, for I have received this charge from the great
-voice beyond who demands only we follow his direction and underwrites a guarantee
-signed in the blood of a thousand Kike Pedophiles, his name is Dikky Hearties,
-The Almighty Lord and I serve his creed which cannot be repeated among men!"
-
- 
-Trannykikeleonites Psalm 3
-
-AND though the Earth shooketh with his speech and Gay Nigger seed drenched the
-land with its bounty, immediately arresting the famine that had wrought the land,
-still one blaspheming Jew took exception to these godly words and riled the dregs
-into a frenzy "Any who join with this timecop and his wretched band shall be
-disbarred from his profession!  He shall never know the love of the Jew which is
-the love of plentitude without effort.  His credit rating shall be razed and his
-flocks shall be repossessed by moon apes.  His home will smolder at the first
-breeze with no utilities as I shall set forth my minions upon the leaders of his
-land who will be bought with the same denied to him in the lobby of their greatest
-building by lobbyists residing in the same."
-
-
-Trannykikeleonites Psalm 4
-
-AND so the Montenegroes recoiled, and sought shelter from the bountiful Nigger
-Seed rains from above, for they could not reap its benefit and remain within good
-graces with the Jew.  The Females of all flocks were especially vicious in their
-recoil for they had taken a special longing for the JEW-ellers stocks and sought
-to maintain supply of the glutunous trinkets regardless of cost to their loins.
-
- 
-Trannykikeleonites Psalm 5
-
-AND so it was that The Almighty of the Universe, Dikky Hearties dispatched Timecop
-forth to demand 3 great disciples from the dregs unearthed in Montenegro - and
-though Dikky Hearties the Almighty had reverted from bountifying the land with
-his Gay Nigger seed to shitheaping it with vile excrement, blighting its
-treacherous Jew-loving inhabitants with pestilence and plague – three of the
-dregs did walk forward, for not all could live off of a $454/month welfare stipend.
-Nor could all maintain a credit rating above 900 points.  Such was the Jew-Kike
-economic system, and such would be its undoing.
-
- 
-Trannykikeleonites Psalm 6
-
-AND from whence those dregs came, though the land remained firmly on the shitheap,
-and even though the Latvian Ambassador (heterosexual) remarked that he would not
-bother to get a green card, they emerged from Timecop’s tent transformed.
-What had taken the Jew many eons to foment had taken Timecop less than fifteen
-minutes each to undo, and to each when his Gay Nigger seed erupted within, carrying
-the holy service pack update, Timecop saideth, "Thou art reformed in the image of
-our lord, the Almighty Dikky Hearties, you are Nords but you are of such clean
-lineage that no Earthly being will be able recognize you as such and you will
-appear to everyone a Nigger."
-
- 
-Trannykikeleonites Psalm 7
-
-AND so it became that the great disciples of Dikky Hearties, the Almighty of the
-Universe, who sought his paradise through the Prophet, Timecop would form the new
-Gay Nigger Association of America when timecop applied his powers in a new age of
-great need.  And though there was no asking among the disciples of what should be
-done within the world of Gay Niggers, Dikky Hearties, the Almighty did turn asunder
-and bellow from the heavens to the Gay Ambassador to the Punjab Hordes:
-
-<DiKKy> LOL
-<DiKKy> OK
-<DiKKy> MAKE A 
-<DiKKy> BIBLE
-<DiKKy> BASED ON
-<DiKKy> THE NORD WORDS
-<CrackBaby> OK
-<CrackBaby> WHAT ARE THE BASIC TEACHINGS
-<CrackBaby> AND THE NAMES OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS
-<CrackBaby> AND HOW LONG
-<DiKKy> AND UMUST HAVE PRPHOECHIES
-<DiKKy> ABOUT HOW
-<DiKKy> IF A MAN WITHOUT ANY LEGS
-<DiKKy> ENTERS THE GNAA
-<DiKKy> AT 1337
-<DiKKy> THE SIGN HAS COME
-<DiKKy> TO DESTROY NEW YORK
-<DiKKy> USING OUR SEMEN CANNONS
-<CrackBaby> OK
-<CrackBaby> I NEED NAMES OF PEOPLE
-<DiKKy> DESSIMAT0R IS THE TRAITOR
-<DiKKy> AND DCOM IS THE DEVIL
-<DiKKy> IN HIS ANIME HELL
-<DiKKy> WHERE EVERYONE WILL BE GANGRAPED BY GIANT SQUIDS WITH 8 ARMS EACH FUCKING AND TEARING UP PEOPLES BUTTS IN TRUE ANIME STYLE FOR ETERNITY TO COME
-
- 
-Trannykikeleonites Psalm 8
-
-AND thence UnLoOpY the Faggot Punjab, sworn enemy of the Zionist Conspiracy (ZOG)
-warned Timecop that there were Jews and Kike-helpers in his midst but Timecop ways led
-astray by the treachery of desseminat0r who himself had been subverted by the Juden
-forces through the half Jew – half Punjab Jax.  And though Timecop had been warned that
-halfbreeds were not to be trusted, he did so regardless, despite warnings that Gay Niggers
-could not include females and thusly the golden arrow did strike, and it was in fact
-mined from the Kike Israel mine and forged by the sex-change promoting DeBeers JEWeller
-whose hatred towards fellow man and ability to control the female organism was his
-strength and the Gay Niggers his only weakness.  In his weakened state Timecop did
-croak one sweet blossom of direction, which was to seek paradise with Dikky Hearties,
-the Almighty, that all who follow his direction shall live where men love eachother
-and where the rivers run quick with Gay Nigger seed.  UnLoOpY himself fled to the
-Punjab and promptly outsourced half of America greatly improving the case for fighting
-the Jew and open source software which had so empowered the enemies of free empire.
-But still the land was restless, the Gay Niggers in disarray, Dikky Hearties the
-Almighty forced to descend from the heavens and take form as a chronic barbiturate
-abuser just as the tranny-kike had done so many whirls about the sun before.
-
- 
-Trannykikeleonites Psalm 9
-
-And so it was that the Jews just as they did with the tranny-kike would always have the
-upper hand in fighting the righteous Nord bloodline of the Gay Niggers, whose purity in
-Norwegian heritage was so fine that they appeared to be Niggers to the lay-person.
-The Jew with the help of the vile Anime/Xanga lovers Dcom and Verbam aligned with each
-other and forged an unholy alliance which sought to wreak destruction upon adherants of
-Dikky Hearties the Almighty, and the great BROWN RING.  As Dikky Hearties the Almighty
-had descended to Earth, it was scene that his powers and indeed the holy powers of all
-the Gay Nigger seed became concentrated within the Brown Ring and thusly it was sought
-as the primary target by the Jew and all his minions.
-
-
-
-Negrodamus Psalm 1
-
-From whence the Gay Niggers traveled they left only love, and joyous, gay, happiness
-which caused much consternation among global Jewry who sought to restrict such cracks
-of heavenly reception among the lay-folk - a council of kike-faigs was called to order
-and Selfone spake, and spake he that "The Gay Niggers shalt be put to death, we much
-round up two dozen and show tax-payers that we indeed are the bottom line of their
-empire".  And so it was that some 24 Gay Nigger Nords were rounded up, though they
-went voluntarily so as to leave their hosts homes undisturbed and Penisbird feathers
-unruffled.  They were shackled within the Inner Sanctum of the great Roman Coliseum
-whose leaders had again been tricked by the Jewry and ZOG to believe that it was in
-their interest to fight the Jewish enemies, and despite having just suffered from
-extreme nigger flooding in Jew Orleans, the establishment of more enemies care of
-the Jewvasion of Lebanon, and the false-flag operation of 9/11, the Roman King, one
-BASH sought and did try to put the Gay Nigger Nords to death by gladiator or as he
-called, Insurgent warfare.
-
- 
-Negrodamus Psalm 2
-
-But oh for grace!  Dikky Hearties, the Almighty of the Universe did part the clouds
-and once again launch a barrage of semen artillery from the sky, and only the believer
-niggers were permitted to see his majestic power.  The 24 Gay Nigger Nords of superior
-lineage were able to fight off legions upon legions of Romans with not a scratch, and
-even the 200 Lions deployed by the Jew-nosed Kike General Abizaid.  But still some
-doubted the Powers of Dikky Hearties, the Almighty, and among the 24 Gay Nigger Nords,
-just one cried to his Jewbagging keepers "O Lament! Save me from my misery! I forsake
-the Almighty Dikky Hearties and I embrace the Great Zog!" 
-
- 
-Negrodamus Psalm 3
-
-And so it was that all 24 were smitten on the count of five, they were smitten once
-said count had reached zero, for one among them was unworthy and the Almighty Dikky
-Hearties once again showed his disciples now numbering in the thousands, that not only
-did he have the power to grand paradise to all but also that power which to take it
-away and that he could do so at his discretion, immediately upon the act of sin, or
-following it.
-
- 
-Negrodamus Psalm 4
-
-And then projected upon the Jumbotron was the fate of the one defective Jewed-out
-Gay Nigger who had forsaken his wondrous Nord Nigger bodice for the vile carnal
-pleasures of a low-interest Visa card.  He remained for eternity DCOM's bedmate, in
-the clutches of hellfire, being sodomized repeatedly by 8 sequoia-tree-trunk sized
-Anime dongs, the collective imagination of every Xanga and Anime blogger.
-Jewfragolians 1
-
-And CrackBaby received his final directive from the Almighty Dikky Heartiez,
-"Yield to thine Kike Temptation, and thou shalt rot in some pedophilia inspired,
-open source stench of a xanga blog – follow my guidance at all times and you shall
-be guaranteed paradise and eternal love and Gay Nigger seed among men."
-\ No newline at end of file

diff --git a/ircart/sort/racist.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/racist.stories.txt
@@ -1,200 +0,0 @@
-What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
-A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
-
-What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?
-A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.
-
-What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?
-Niggers.
-
-Why don't sharks eat niggers?
-They think it's whale shit.
-
-What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?
-Branch manager.
-
-How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?
-They don't work in the future, either.
-
-Why do niggers cry during sex?
-The Mace.
-
-How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
-Take your foot off the back of his head.
-
-How do you get a nigger out of a tree?
-Cut the rope.
-
-What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?
-Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
-
-What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?
-Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.
-
-Why do niggers stink?
-So blind people can hate them too.
-
-What do you get when you cross a nigger and a spic?
-Someone too lazy to steal.
-
-Why don't niggers take aspirin?
-They refuse to pick the cotton out.
-
-What do nigger kids get for Christmas?
-Your bike.
-
-What's a niggers idea of foreplay?
-"Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch."
-
-Why do spics drive low-riders?
-So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.
-
-What do you get when you cross a jew and a gypsy?
-A chain of empty retail stores.
-
-Why don't nigger kids play in the sandbox?
-Cats keep covering them up.
-
-What do you call an apartment full of niggers?
-A COON-dominium.
-
-Why are there no nigger astronauts?
-Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.
-
-How do you babysit a niglet?
-Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.
-
-How do you get him down?
-Teach him to say "Motherfucker."
-
-How else do you babysit a niglet?
-Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell him to jump.
-
-How do you get him down?
-Invite the spics over, blindfold them and tell them it's a piñata party.
-
-Why do jews have big noses?
-Air is free.
-
-What is a nigger on a bike?
-Thief.
-
-What's long and black and smells like shit?
-The welfare line.
-
-What do you call 50 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?
-Good start.
-
-What is the worst 3 years of a niggers life?
-First grade.
-
-How was break dancing invented?
-Niggers trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars.
-
-Why do niggers wear wide-brimmed hats?
-So pigeons can't shit on their lips.
-
-Why did so many nigger soldiers get killed in Vietnam?
-Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the niggers would jump up and start dancing.
-
-What do you get when you cross a nigger with a Vietnamese?
-Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won't do.
-
-What's black and tan and looks good on a nigger?
-A Doberman Pinscher.
-
-What's the fastest animal in the world?
-The Ethiopian chicken.
-
-Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?
-He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.
-
-Did you hear about Ku Klux Knieval?
-He tried to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.
-
-Why was golf invented?
-So white people get a chance to dress like niggers.
-
-What do you do if you see a nigger with half a head?
-Stop laughing and reload.
-
-Why did god create orgasms?
-So niggers know when to stop.
-
-Why did god give niggers rhythm?
-Because he fucked up their hair, nose and lips.
-
-Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?
-They heard there were no jobs there.
-
-Why can't nigger women become nuns?
-Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.
-
-How do you fit 15 niggers in the back of a Cadillac?
-Don't worry, they'll figure it out.
-
-What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
-A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
-
-How do you stop a nigger from drowning?
-You don't.
-
-Whats the differance between Afghanistan and Christmas?
-Christmas will be here this year.
-
-Whats blue and hangs in my front yard?
-My nigger I can paint him whatever color I want.
-
-Why do seagulls have wings?
-To beat the niggers to the dump.
-
-What's a crying shame?
-When a bus full of niggers drives off a cliff and there were 3 empty seats.
-
-What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his ass?
-A dart.
-
-Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?
-Because one of them lost a quarter.
-
-What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?
-Niggers Are Always Causing Problems
-
-How many spics does it take to have a bath?
-Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.
-
-What do a nigger and an apple have in common?
-They both look good hanging from a tree.
-
-Why are niggers always buried 12 feet deep?
-Deep down they're good people.
-
-What's the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape?
-The length of the chain.
-
-What's black, orange, and very pretty?
-A nigger on fire.
-
-What do you have if you've got a nigger up to his neck in cement?
-Not enough cement.
-
-How was copper wire invented?
-Two jews fighting over a penny.
-
-How do you starve a nigger?
-Hide his welfare check under his work boots.
-
-How do you get 12 niggers in a Volkswagen?
-Throw in a welfare check.
-
-How do you get them out?
-Throw in a job application.
-
-Why are there trees in Harlem?
-Public transportation.
-
-How does a black woman fight crime?
-She has an abortion.
-
-What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?
-"Drop it nigger."

diff --git a/ircart/sort/rape1.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/rape1.stories.txt
@@ -1,10 +0,0 @@
-Mommy,Daddy did something to me, he made me lose my virginity
-he came into my room, without knocking on the door
-he picked me up and threw me on the floor, he pulled down my undies
-he ripped open my shirt, he pushed his thing in so hard that it hurt
-but that wasn't all, that wasn't the end
-he starded to hit me and thats just where it begins
-he beat me so bad that i started to cry
-oh tell me LORD why didn't i die!
-when he was done he walked out the door, he didn't even pick me up off the floor!
-this girl died two years later from a s.t.d. she haunts all those who dont pass this message on. at 2:30 am she will personally kill you. If you repost this bullitien she will only cry to you in your dreams.

diff --git a/ircart/sort/rape2.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/rape2.stories.txt
@@ -1,11 +0,0 @@
-Mommy,Daddy did something to me, he made me lose my virginity
-he came into my room, without knocking on the door
-he picked me up and threw me on the floor, he pulled down my undies
-he ripped open my shirt, he pushed his thing in so hard that it hurt
-but that wasn't all, that wasn't the end
-he starded to hit me and thats just where it begins
-he beat me so bad that i started to cry
-oh tell me LORD why didn't i die!
-when he was done he walked out the door, he didn't even pick me up off the floor!
-he didn't even clean my face, and my anus still hurt
-I hate my life and i hate my daddy, i hope i die soon.

diff --git a/ircart/sort/slash2.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/slash2.stories.txt
@@ -1,155 +0,0 @@
-The Vulcan was naked and erect, very erect. His penis was engorged, flushed 
-dark green, raised and stiff like a copper bodkin held between his white and 
-slightly parted legs. A fighting stance.
-Kirk met the Vulcan's inscrutable gaze.
-     "On your knees," Spock growled.
-     Kirk's mind was numb. How did he get here? Surely he had not walked, 
-naked and aroused, to this shower stall? Or perhaps he had simply 
-materialized? Dully, he realized that his knees were obeying involuntarily, 
-weakened by the rapidly growing arousal between his legs.
-     When his knees hit the mouldering concrete threshold, reality seemed to 
-snap back into place. He reached forward with his left hand to touch that 
-super-heated phallus and started to tongue the head. He tried to suck Spock 
-in.
-     "No," Spock commanded, and stepped back out of Kirk's grasp.
-     The human felt hurt momentarily, as if he had been told that his touch 
-was unwanted. Wordlessly, he leaned back on his haunches and awaited his 
-master's direction. Spock stepped forward so his cock was again in front of 
-the human's face. For Kirk it was a struggle to keep still; the Vulcan only 
-surveyed him cooly.
-     "You may touch it like this," he said, holding out a
-demonstratory hand, index and middle finger extended.
-     "Thank you," mumbled Kirk, not quite capable of speaking. He touched 
-the joined fingers of his right hand to the lightning rod of his erotic 
-world.
-     "Stroke it lengthwise. Yes, like that."
-     The touch seemed to galvanize the human; the blood pounding in his ears 
-made the shower spray sound very far away indeed. His shaky fingers traced a 
-line up and down the length of it; he watched the dark ridges swell. He felt 
-a tremor in his left hand -- he wanted to touch himself -- so he stubbornly 
-balled that hand into a fist and put it behind his back. He was not going to 
-give in this time. He was
-not going to show Spock any weakness.
-     "You may circle the head with your thumb," instructed Spock.
-"Slowly," he added emphatically. His gaze softened slightly as the human 
-obeyed him. "I see you have learned some discipline, James."
-     Kirk was pleased at this unexpected praise and ironically almost lost 
-his concentration. He felt heat flush through him, felt his cock twinge. He 
-was hard.
-     Spock briefly put his hand to Kirk's head, brushing a few dripping 
-strands of hair back affectionately. Then he pulled his hand back. "Put your 
-hands on my hips," he ordered. The human complied, leaning on him slightly 
-for balance as he shifted his aching knees.
-The Vulcan waited patiently for his sub's attention to return. "You are to 
-take it in your mouth. When I tell you, you will swallow it all the way. You 
-may use your hands as leverage."
-     "May I suck you?" managed Kirk in a croak.
-     "Yes," allowed Spock.
-     Kirk shut his eyes. Spock's voice was low and warm and marvelously 
-controlled. He could trust Spock; he could let him use him however he liked.
-     The human took the bone-hard organ into his mouth. He felt the ridges 
-flex outwards as he tongued them. The sensation was so pleasant, his tongue 
-could dance around the fleshy ridges forever.
-Too soon:
-     "Swallow it."
-     Kirk expected a hand at the back of his neck or at his throat, forcing 
-him to take it, but the hand did not come. There was only a dick in his 
-mouth and his hands on the owner's hips. Kirk began to brace himself; 
-Spock's ridges had flared and Kirk's gag reflex was kicking in with the tip 
-of it nudging his throat. It was going to be a tight fit. Why did Spock 
-always have to make it so difficult for him? Summoning his courage, Kirk 
-pushed the engorged phallus inside, nearly choking himself on its length. 
-Without prompting, he pushed his hands into Spock's buttocks until his lips 
-were at the base of his penis. It jutted out starkly from his pelvis, 
-unadorned, for a
-Vulcan male carries his testicles in the small of his back.
-     Kirk had the momentary sensation of not being able to breathe, before 
-he drew air in through his nostrils. The sound of his own breathing had 
-become atrociously loud.
-     Not sufficient, it seemed. "You will service me. Pull back until only 
-the head is in your mouth, then take it all in again."
-     Kirk pleaded with his eyes - surely the Vulcan could devise a less 
-difficult punishment. He wasn't even sure he could --
-     The Vulcan's eyes narrowed. "You will do it."
-     The possibility crystallized for the human then. It was difficult, but 
-he could do it -- he would do it. He felt incredible love for Spock then, 
-for taking him as far as he could go, and then farther. Eagerly he brought 
-his head down and up again, uncovering and covering the now slick shaft. He 
-tore the head, with its wide, flared ridges, through his tight throat and 
-pushed it back in again until he was sore; doing so had seemed 
-incomprehensible only a moment before. He was choking, he was asphyxiating; 
-he shut his eyes and struggled to breathe through his nose, but did not let 
-up in his motion up and down Spock's unbending hardness. When he heard a 
-grunt of pleasure from his master, it set his heated blood on fire.
-     "Ahh, good. Faster." Spock allowed the human to swallow him three more 
-times, then grabbed his head when he was all the way inside and held him 
-there. Kirk knew Spock was close from the tension in his muscles; then, with 
-every nerve in his lips and mouth and tongue and throat, he felt the pulse 
-along Spock's phallus as his semen shot through the tubes. He felt the 
-slight jerk as Spock let go of his orgasm and ejaculated. Slowly, Spock 
-withdrew his still-stiff organ. Kirk was trembling.
-     "Get up."
-     Kirk stood up shakily, then stepped back instinctively as the
-Vulcan advanced on him. It was hopeless; Spock pinned him vertically against 
-the tiles.
-     The sudden assault caused Kirk to flood with adrenaline. He could see 
-every droplet as it dove from the showerhead onto Spock's back; he could 
-hear the voices outside, distorted as if under water.
-"Spock," he whispered.
-     "You are mine. I intend to enjoy you and there is nothing you can do 
-about it," stated the other in his sure voice. Did Kirk imagine he heard a 
-trace of emotion in it now?
-     The Vulcan pressed him into the wall. It was fortunate for Kirk that 
-the hot water had sprayed the tiles all that time, or the ceramic would have 
-been quite cold. As it was the tiles felt rather cold against Kirk's back as 
-Spock pressed his very warm body into Kirk's. Pushing the human into place 
-against the wall, Spock picked up Kirk's legs at the knees and rested Kirk's 
-thighs on each side just above his pelvic bone. He then thrust into his 
-suspended prize.
-     Ridges flattened and sticky with cum, Spock's penis slipped easily into 
-Kirk's well-fucked ass. The human could only hold on tight to Spock with all 
-four limbs as Spock's thrusts crushed his spine into the wall. Spock was 
-angling himself for his own pleasure, but each thrust jostled Kirk's 
-prostate and rubbed his own organ against Spock's belly. He wanted to cry 
-out from the intensity, but he feared being heard in this public place. His 
-anguish keened out past his bit lip anyway.
-     The Vulcan thrust harder. "Every sound you make inflames me.
-Every whimper, every moan."
-     It was too much. Kirk began to struggle against Spock. His thighs moved 
-against those unmoveable legs. He pushed back and Spock pushed into him, so 
-his penis dug hard into Spock's belly and he came.
-     "Yess," slurred Spock as Kirk's muscles contracted on his shaft.
-"Yes," he said, thrusting hard with each contraction.
-     Kirk's head was swimming with pain. He couldn't feel his legs.
-His arms dug in tightly to Spock's shoulders, perched as he was. Then he 
-felt something large being pulled towards the opening of his anus
--- Spock's ridges had flared again. Kirk tensed suddenly. Right when his 
-sphincter contracted, Spock ripped his dick out of Kirk's arse.
-     "Aa! That *hurt*!"
-     "Does it not hurt to be mastered? But I will have your pain and your 
-submission." He viciously thrust himself all the way in again and put his 
-mouth to Kirk's ear. "Your pain arouses me."
-     Kirk's mind was gone somewhere, transported by pain. In some dark 
-corner of his mind he knew it would be easier if he just relaxed, but 
-instead he was tensing up, making his anus hard and tight like Spock wanted, 
-so he could violate him again and again. He felt pleasure building towards 
-orgasm and recognized it as Spock's arousal. The Vulcan was allowing -- or 
-was it forcing -- him to feel the pleasure he was taking.
-     And giving. Kirk was a lump of heat and raw nerve endings and he was so 
-hard. He was going to come again, with Spock.
-     Spock's orgasm surged and broke. He was coming in Kirk's body and in 
-his mind. Kirk was coming too. His penis was jerking and his mind went 
-white, but this time he did not ejaculate. Gradually, he became aware of the 
-sound of Spock's harsh breathing. Carefully, his lover eased his legs down, 
-so he could stand. They embraced under the relentless spray.
-     The human nestled his head in the space between Spock's neck and 
-shoulder. "I love you," he whispered.
-     Spock gently stroked his shoulders and back. "Jim," he acknowledged 
-softly.
-     Kirk hugged him tightly. The tremors from his orgasm had not quite 
-subsided, and he felt soft and weak and vulnerable between his legs. 
-"Spock," he said, and smiled, although no-one could see it.
-"What would I do without you?"
-     Spock could not answer that question, so he only kissed his rounded 
-ear. "Perhaps it would be more sensible to ask what I would do without you. 
-My incredible lover."

diff --git a/ircart/sort/spam.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/spam.stories.txt
@@ -1,76 +0,0 @@
-spam {
-  var %users = $nick($1,0,a,oh)
-  var %i = 1
-  while (%i <= %users) {
-    var %curnick = $nick($1,%i,a,oh)
-    if (%curnick != $me) { play %curnick $2 $3 }
-    inc %i
-  }
-}
-spam_help {
-  /echo Currently available commands:
-  /echo /spam_init0,0_______Initializes the spam bot (only call it the first time)
-  /echo /spam_start0,0______Starts the master spam script; use this AFTER the slave nicks
-  /echo 0,0_________________have /spam_slave first
-  /echo /spam_slave0,0______Starts the spam slave.
-  /echo /spam_time0,0_______Sets the delay time for the files
-  /echo For usage details and parameters, type the command.
-  /echo 4BEFORE USAGE (IMPORTANT)
-  /echo You need to add the following lines to the _TOP_ of your remote (ALT+R) 
-  /echo before starting:
-  /echo ON *:TEXT:*:*:/spam_auth $nick $1-
-}
-spam_time {
-  /echo 12Set to $1 . [Usage: /spam_time [# of milliseconds]
-  set %delaytime $1
-}
-spam_status {
-  /echo 12Set to $1 . [Usage: /spam_status [ON|OFF]
-  set %spamstatus $1
-}
-spam_auth {
-  if ($1 == %spamslave) {
-    if (%spamstatus == ON) {
-      /echo $2 %spamfile %delaytime
-      /play $2 %spamfile %delaytime
-    }
-  }
-}
-spam_init {
-  var spamstatus OFF
-  var spammaster NONE
-  var spamfile NONE
-  set %delaytime 1000
-  /echo 12 Successful initialization. Ready for /spam_slave or /spam_start
-}
-spam_slave {
-  ; Usage: /spam_slave [
-  /echo 12Starting the Spam Slave 
-  if ($2 == $null) {
-    /echo 12Usage: /spam_slave [master's nick] [file to play]
-    return 
-  }
-  set %spamslave $1
-  set %spamfile $2-
-  set %spamstatus ON
-}
-spam_start {
-  /echo 12Starting the Spam Bot
-  /write -c spamdat.txt /ECHO Transmitting...
-  if ($2 == $null) {
-    /echo 12Usage: /spam_start [channel] [slave nicks]
-    /echo 12 Note that the slave nicks must have /spam_slave ON first!
-    /echo 12 You can indicate more than one nick by a comma (ie: nick1,nick2) 
-    return
-  }
-  var %users = $nick($1,0,a,oh)
-  var %i = 1
-  while (%i <= %users) {
-    var %curnick = $nick($1,%i,a,oh)
-    if (%curnick != $me) { 
-      write spamdat.txt /msg $2 %curnick 
-    }
-    inc %i
-  }
-  play -c spamdat.txt 1500
-}

diff --git a/ircart/sort/stallion.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/stallion.stories.txt
@@ -1,21 +0,0 @@
-The Stallion
-A full grown stallion's cock, when fully erect, will measure some two to
-three feet long.  It can be three to six inches thick at the base, to about
-two inches thick at the head.  Horses are somewhat different from other
-animals in the way their cock head works.  When a horse is fully erect and
-excited and ready to mount, his cock head is somewhat pointed and not as
-thick as might be normally observed.  This is to facillatate an easier
-entry into the mare.  After the horse has entered and reaches a climax the
-head swells (though it is more spongy then hard) into a fist sized mass as
-he ejaculates.  It is thought that this serves as a plug to force the
-semen deep into the mare rather then allowing it to leak out.  A full grown
-stallion can ejaculate about one cup ( 8 ounces ) of semen.  It will take
-quite a few spurts to accomplish this.  Each time his tail will raise and
-lower in a brief flick.  The first few jets are of a thin to average
-consistency of cum.  The final few jets are of a thick gelatinous
-substance... it is thought that this serves to "seal" the mares pussy so
-that the semen has time to do it's thing before leaking out.  Horse semen
-is extremely viscous, if you touch your finger to a pool of it you can draw
-a thin string of it five to six feet long!  Horse cum has a nice flat taste
-to it...not at all bitter like man's cum.  You can easily drink cups of it
-with no discomfort.

diff --git a/ircart/sort/wtc2.stories.txt b/ircart/sort/wtc2.stories.txt
@@ -1,89 +0,0 @@
-i wrote this in the time of
-deep thinking thoughts...i'd appreciate a response...
-"LIVING IN THE STATE OF NINE ELEVEN"
-U.S.A- was changed forever from unexpected hate...
-still remember it today, 
-like it happened yesterday...
-i missed the first- 
-but cought the second plane...
-destruction came-when
-terror hit the trade...
-911
-how come- 
-military defences- 
-were only set to dectect bombs...
-WHO THE FUCK COULD DO THIS-
-how come...
-maby its cuz bush didn't respect the comp...
-get over it-
-move on-
-the day's gone...
-911
-help-
-send police-firefighters-and paramedics...
-i'll FOREVER praise-
-falling peoples heroic efforts...
-could never forget it-WATCHING-
-all the news coverage-
-everyone was different...
-got-not a clue-
-to what we seeing-
-will affect all of us living...
-911
-im calling back,
-knowing you seen the first building colaps...
-stunned and shocked-
-unable to grasp-
-one single thought- of getting MAD...
-quicker then said-
-anger was giving in...
-and evil thinking-
-took over what to do to them...
-911
-later its known-
-we cought wind of there plan...
-but let it go-
-wasn't the first -and-
-won't be the last one we have...
-terrorfying acts in the past-
-could never surpass...
-the impact on americans-
-with intent to get back...
-SEPTEMBER 11TH
-befor this-
-it was at best- a freinds birthday...
-now it remembered as- 
-terrorism-
-ground zero- 
-and when we lost the world trade...
-its easy to say-
-this is a world of hate...
-we've suffered in pain-
-in the worst way...
-SEPTEMBER 11th
-was THE DAY-
-that joined all americans...
-know we looking past skin color-
-here,there, and-
-every where you live...
-I relized-
-other situations-
-i never cared like this...
-untill eight walls fell down-
-because of some terrorists...
-SEPTEMBER 11th
-memorial's-
-could tell you know, how the story goes...
-but soul's still float-
-lost-
-gone, and don't know...
-someone's
-sister-
-dad-
-mom-
-and bro...
-rasing fist till this day-
-pissed cuz they stay-
-in a war zone...
-SEPTEMBER11th is gone...it's time to move on...
-i'm down with bringing the troops home...